Garfield: Who are you?
Rip: We, sir, are rats
Bob: We're all brothers
Juanita: (BONK!)
Bob: Oh, yeah, one of us is a sister
Rip: Howdy, stranger. Rip, Juanita and Bob are our names and spreading pestilence is our game
Garfield: Which one of you is Juanita?
Rip: The one with “eau de vermin” behind her ears
Garfield: How did you rats get our names?
Rip: I'm called rip because I'm fast
Juanita: Juanita was my grandmothers name
Garfield: How about you, Bob?
Bob: That's the sound my head makes when it runs into a wall
Garfield: I take it Bob isn't very bright
Rip: He couldn't get through a maze with a map
Garfield: Jon will kill me if he finds out I let rats into the house. I'll lure them out with the old “pied piper” ploy
Rip: Okay, fat boy, let's take it from the top
Rip: What do you guys want to do today
Bob: Let's spread pestilence!
Rip: Nah, let's lower somebody's property value
Bob: Or take a scenic sewer tour
Garfield: You're disgusting
Rip: It's a living
Bob: Or run up an old man's pant leg?
Arlene: Hello, Garfield
Garfield: Hello, Arlene
Arlene: I see you're still fat
Garfield: I see you still have that space between your teeth
Arlene: At least I can close my mouth
Garfield: I can go on a diet
Arlene: You're not likely to go on a diet
Garfield: You're not likely to close your mouth
Arlene: Hey, why are we fighting like children? I'm sorry
Garfield: I'm sorry too
Garfield: So long, Arlene
Arlene: So long, Garfield
Garfield: Beaver face
Arlene: Lard belly
Garfield: I hate partly cloudy days
Garfield: When it's sunny, I'm happy. When it's cloudy, I'm sad
Garfield: On a partly cloudy day I can use up a weeks worth of moods
Jon: My, my. You're up early this morning
Garfield: I didn't get up early
Garfield: My leg cramp did!
Jon: I hate it when I can't get milk carton open
Garfield: Let me give you a hand
Garfield: Hiyah! (thock!)
Garfield: Amazing things: claws
Jon: You stay out there, Garfield. I'll let you in when I'm good and ready
Garfield: (SCREEEEEEEE)
Jon: I'm ready
Garfield: Good and
Jon: All tucked in for the night
Garfield: Yup
Jon: My lasagna!
Garfield: I was hoping you wouldn't notice
Garfield: And now for the third tennis ball
Garfield: Tah-dah! A new world's record
Jon: You spit those out this very instant!
Garfield: Some people have no sens of history
Garfield: Whoa! This is what I call a window of opportunity
Garfield: No you don't, Odie. I saw it first!
Garfield: It's mine! It's mine!
Garfield: Wait a minute, Odie. I have an idea! Why don't we cooperate to get the pie? Then we will share it!
Garfield: Sometimes the old axioms work best
Garfield: Like “there's a sucker born every minute”
Jon: Hey, Garfield, guess what? We are going to visit dad and mom on the farm again!
Garfield: Jon, you must be psychic
Garfield: I was just lying here thinking it was time to restock the burrs in my fur
Jon: Hey, mom, pass the potatoes, pleas
Jon's mother: Scalloped, whipped, fried, baked or boiled?
Jon: Mom, you always fix too much food
Jon's mother: I know, honey, I know. Now, what would you like?
Jon: I can't decide. Just give me a piece of pie
Jon's mother: Apple, peach, pumpkin, blueberry, cherry or banana cream?
Jon: Farm life's great, isn't it, Garfield?
Jon: However, I will admit it's a little slow
Jon: Nothing much to do but count the bricks in the old silo
Garfield: 14,238