Mystery Meat: Knock, knock
Garfield: Who's there
Mystery Meat: Uhhh... Candy gram?
Garfield: You can't fool me, Mystery Meat. you want out to wreak havoc
Mystery Meat: Today the refrigerator, tomorrow the world!
Jon: I wonder if I should clean the refrigerator
Garfield: The bacon is grazing on the lettuce and he asks if the refrigerator need cleaning
Jon: Oh no!
Jon: Garfield! You're sitting in my scrambled eggs!
Garfield: They're warm
Garfield: Okay, okay, here... enjoy
Jon: No, go ahead and sit in them. They're ruined now
Garfield: Ruined?!
Garfield: Just because I sat in 'em, it's not like your stupid scrambled eggs are diseased, you know!
Jon: Unnngh!
Garfield: Eat'em! Eat'em!
Reba: Hubert! The cat's feeding Jon!
Hubert: Pack your bags, Reba! We're moving for sure this time!
Jon: It's time for your checkup, Garfield
Garfield: I'll get checked-up while the lady vet get checked-out
Jon: We gotta make sure you're in good condition
Garfield: Right
Garfield: The only condition he's worried about is his glandular condition
Liz: Good morning, Mr Arbuckle
Jon: How did you know it was me? I wasn't even in the door yet!
Liz: You have a distinctive cologne
Jon: Oh, you mean my “Ode de Lumberjack”
Liz: Bingo
Jon: How about a date, doc?
Liz: Oh, let's not and say we did
Jon: That's better than nothing, I guess
Jon: Can we say I kissed you good night?
Liz: If we can say I slapped you
Jon: Let's be honest with on another, Liz
Jon: I'm a man, you're a woman. Get the picture?
Liz: That's the door. Get the picture?
Garfield: You'll have to draw it for him, doc
Jon: Do you think these shades make me more mysterious?
Liz: You don't need them
Jon: Hey, good-lookin', what time do you get off work
Liz: You just propositioned my coat rack
Garfield: Me might get lucky this time
Jon: In case you're think about asking me out, doc, forget it. I have plans
Jon: I'm seeing this girl who is real cute and real clever and we laugh a lot
Liz: Do tell...
Jon: My, my, my! Do I detect a not of jealousy in you voice?
Liz: I walked into that one
Jon: Sigh
Jon: Garfield, you are worthless. Do you know that?
Jon: You are doing zero with your life... zip. Do you know that?
Garfield: (poke, poke)
Jon: You should learn something now each day. It would lead purpose to this dreary existence of yours
Jon: I'm going to store. When I come back, I want you to have learned something
Jon: I'm home, Garfield. Did you learn anything
Garfield: I learned how to use your credit card
TV: Our cat food is new and improved!
TV: New and improved! New and improved!
Garfield: Just think... Ale this time I've been eating old and inferior
Garfield: Rats! Where's the Binky the Clown Show?! (click, click, click)
Garfield: This remote control must be malfunctioning (click, click, click)
Garfield: Now it works
TV: No, no! Don't change the channel! Need the ratings!
TV: Pleeeeease!
Garfield: (CLICK!)
TV: Arrrgh!
Garfield: Choice is a powerful thing
Garfield: (CLICK)
Garfield: Whenever Jon paid for this TV remote control, it was worth it!
Garfield: These games shows are disgusting
Garfield: It's pathetic how some people will humiliate themselves to win money
Garfield: Jon does it for free
