Jon: I believe you're gaining weight, Garfield
Garfield: I believe your eyeballs are shrinking
Jon: Look at that soft belly
Garfield: That's just water retention
Jon: Now why do you suppose you're looking larger?
Garfield: An optical illusion?
Jon: The older you get, the bigger you get
Garfield: Bigger-boned maybe
Jon: You're fat, Garfield
Garfield: I am not fat
Garfield: My center of gravity is just getting lower
Garfield: I have this nagging feeling I'm forgetting something
Odie: (WHUMP!)
Garfield: Oh yes, I forgot I kicked Odie into next week, last week
Garfield: Pooky loves me. I can tell
Garfield: He doesn't talk, he doesn't walk, he doesn't think
Garfield: A little nothing goes a long way
Garfield: I'm working up a routine for the fence tonight, Pooky. Tell me what you think of it
Garfield: I knew a teddy bear who was so ugly, even the tide wouldn't take it out
Garfield: (BLAT!)
Garfield: Good evening, ladies and germs. I'd like you to meet Pooky, my gag writer
Pooky: (SPLAT)
Garfield: Welcome to show biz, kid
Garfield: Jump through the hoop, Pooky
Jon: Hey, Garfield. What's happening?
Garfield: I'm pretending to teach Pooky tricks
Garfield: Butterflies are versatile. They can caress the air
Garfield: They can the the dew from the flowers
Garfield: And they can embed themselves in radiators
Butterfly: (FWAP!)
Garfield: (scritch, scritch)
Garfield: I'll be darned. These labels are loose
Garfield: It's the old “Cat Gets the Tuna While the Owner Gets the Cat Food” gag
Jon: Surprise, Garfield! I fixed us a tuna noodle casserole
Garfield: Oh, well, I guess a half a surprise is better than none at all
Jon: Garfield, I know you hate Mondays
Jon: But everything that could possibly happened t you has already happened
Garfield: Au contraire, power failure breath
Jon: Since we can't watch TV during a power failure, Garfield, what say we listen to the radio?
Jon: (CLICK, CLICK) Ha ha! Do I feel stupid
Garfield: That's because you are stupid
Jon: How about a game of cards
Garfield: No, thanks. I'm just going to sit here and cry for a while
Jon: I've learned something from this power failure, Garfield
Jon: When you are deprived of your eyesight, isn't it amazing how much keener other senses become?
Garfield: Huh?
Jon: Don't worry, Garfield. The power failure may have spoiled the food in the refrigerator...
Jon: But we still have lots of canned goods
Jon: Now here's our electric can opener?
Garfield: ARRRGH!
Jon: Hey, Garfield, as long as the power is off, we might as well go out
Jon: I have my bowling ball, let's go bowling
Garfield: Get your fingers out of my eyes and your thumb out of my mouth, and I'll consider it
Jon: Great! The power's back on! I can't think of anything worse that a power failure
Garfield: How about two power failures?
Garfield: (Z)
Odie: (Z)
(KABOOM!)
Garfield: (shoop)
Odie: (zoom)
Jon: Alright, you guys get out of here. It's only a little thunderstorm
Jon: Pets... They're just like kids
(CRACK KABOOM!)
Jon: Give me some room, will you?
Odie: Urf!
Garfield: Hey! Your feet are cold!
TV1: And now, a word from our sponsor
TV2: Hey, America, here's a cat food we bet your cat will love
Garfield: You're on