Garfield: I'm going to kick Odie off the table
Garfield: And he'll probably sprain something and have to go to the vet
Garfield: And I'll get lonely without him
Garfield: And Jon will be angry with me
Garfield: And the humane society will want to lynch me
Garfield: But nobody said was a rose garden
Garfield: I can't believe I turn six years old tomorrow. Some cats say, “Life begins at six,” but I don't buy that
Garfield: Old age may take its toll on some cats, but it's not going to happen to me! I'm going to do something about it
Garfield: Right after my nap
Jon: Happy birthday, Garfield! I got you a rubber chicken. They're lots of fun!
Garfield: We'll see about that
Garfield: (SMACK!)
Odie: (splut)
Garfield: Chicken, you and I are going to have some good times
Garfield: You need a name, fella. Let's see... What do you name a rubber chicken?
Odie: Rrrrr
Garfield: “Stretch”!
Garfield: (peck, peck, peck)
Garfield: (SMACK!)
Garfield: I'll have some ham and eggs and my friend, Stretch, will have a bowl of rubber bands
Garfield: (peck, peck, peck)
Jon: STOP PECKING ME WITH THAT RUBBER CHICKEN!
Garfield: Aw, look. You hurt Stretch's feelings
Jon: He brings out the worst in me
Garfield: Pooky, I would like you to meet Stretch, my rubber chicken
Garfield: Quite frankly, Pooky and Stretch don't have a lot of personality
Garfield: But you have to trade off something when you surround yourself with good listeners
Garfield: YAWN
Garfield: It's beddy-bye time again
Garfield: (pat! pat! pat!) Tonight I think I'll take a deep breath, slowly close my eyes and savor the heavy feeling of sleep gradually overtaking my body
Garfield: Then again it would be fun to have a cup of coffee and toss and turn for a couple of hours, then sleep 'til noon
Garfield: Or maybe I'll run around the block, collapse into bed exhausted and fall asleep instantly
Garfield: Or I could watch the all-night movies on TV until my eyelids get so heavy I couldn't possibly hold them open any longer
Garfield: Sigh... So such sleeping to do and so few nights
Jon: Garfield, I think you're too mean to Odie
Jon: I never want to see you hit him again
Garfield: Oh, very well
Garfield: (KONK!)
Jon: I'm going to the store, Garfield. If you lay a paw on Odie, I'll spank you
Garfield: (BOING)
Jon: Garfield, I swear you've done everything to Odie a cat could do to a dog
Garfield: Au contraire
Garfield: (PLINK)
Garfield: Never underestimate me
Garfield: Hey, Odie! I found your nose!
Garfield: Let me put it on for you, pal (squik, squik)
Garfield: Very nice. I like you as a rat terrier
Odie: (sniff)
Garfield: Well, well, well. I see you're eating my food, Odie. Now what are we going to do with you?
Garfield: We are going to kick you into next week! That's what we're going to do!
Odie: (PUNT)
Jon: Where's Odie?
Garfield: Somewhere over Saturday
Garfield: Lunch isn't the same without Odie. He always slips up behind me, barks loudly and makes me fall into my food
Garfield: I guess I'll just have to make do
Garfield: (BLUT)