Garfield: B-b-b-b
Mailman: ARRRGH!
Garfield: When he comes around, he'll thank me for breaking up the monotony of his dreary job
Garfield: Come on, mailman, deliver that mail
Garfield: And when you do, I'm going to leap on you and all that will be left will be your mailbag and that silly-looking hat of yours
Jon: Has the mailman come yet, Garfield?
Garfield: No, he's still standing at the end of the sidewalk sobbing
(SLAM!)
Garfield: Rats! I missed him
(SCREECH)
Garfield: Apparently, no one ever told him look both ways before crossing the street
Jon: Be a good boy and fetch the mail, Garfield
Garfield: Oui, mon capitaine
Garfield: (RIP, ROWR, CLOBBER, BLAP)
Jon: Did you hurt him bad?
Garfield: Oh, just a few lacerations, abrasions and internal injuries. I was in a good mood
Odie: (plop!)
Garfield: (GLUP!)
Garfield: (ptoo, ptoo)
Garfield: (SPLUT!)
Garfield: Salvage the pride, Garfield, salvage the pride
Jon: Hey, Garfield, it says here people can perform superhuman feats of strength during periods of great stress
Jon: What baloney!
Jon: By the way, I'm taking you to the vet today
Jon: You can't hide from me forever, Garfield. I'm going to find you and take you to the vet
Jon: You may be sneaky, but I'm sneakier
Jon: “Sneaky” is my middle name
Jon: Garfield can't resist lasagna, and when he comes to eat it, I'm going to catch him and take him to the vet
Garfield: (SMACK, GULP, SLURP)
Jon: That cat has the longest lips I've ever seen
Jon: Now where could Garfield be?
Jon: He's not in the cookies, and he certainly wouldn't be in the doggie biscuits
Garfield: (poo!) It's a good thing I can't read
Jon: I wish I could find Garfield's hiding place so I could take him to the vet
Jon: He's sure hiding in a good place
Garfield: A good place-- Not a smart place-- But a good place
Garfield: I can't believe my luck
Garfield: This is too perfect
Garfield: I will now slide down this banister and make a four-point landing on Odie down there
Garfield: BANZAI!
Garfield: Rats!
Garfield: I can see the headline now: “Twist in plot fatal to local cat”
Jon: Wouldn't it be great if everything could talk?
Jon: I'd get out of bed and the wall would say, “Good morning, Jon.” And the sink would say, “Good morning, Jon.”
Garfield: That wouldn't be so hot
Garfield: Every time a light bulb burned out, it would be like a death in the family
Jon: If people had hair all over their bodies, would they wear clothing?
Jon: Probably not
Jon: What would happen if people were cats and cats were people
Garfield: That's an easy one
Garfield: Dogs would soon become extinct
Jon: I was wondering, Garfield...
Jon: What if being fat were considered attractive?
Garfield: What do you, “what if,” bozo?
