Garfield: I'm taking this steak and there's nothing you can do about it, chipmunk cheeks
Jon: I've always encouraged Garfield to be assertive. But I believe he's crossed the fine line to obnoxious
Odie: (bonk! bonk!)
Odie: (BONK! BONK!)
Garfield: Odie's going to have to learn to walk one of these days
Garfield: I wonder what pets do when they don't know their owners are watching
Jon: Let's find out
Jon: I don't believe it
Garfield: Neither do I. Odie just drew to an inside straight
Jon: (CLANG!)
Jon: Hey, Garfield, how do you like my new dinner bell?
Garfield: I got my attention
Garfield: Oh no! My legs are turning to jelly! My mind is turning to mush! Could it be a laser?... A death ray? No! It's...
Garfield: My sunbeam
Garfield: This looks like a good place to sit and muse
Garfield: What is this thing called life, Odie?
Garfield: Montaigne said, “The value of life lies not in the length of days but in how we make us of them.”
Garfield: Holmes said, “Life is painting a picture, not doing a sum.”
Garfield: James said, “Be not afraid of life. Believe that your life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.”
Odie: (poo)
Garfield: Odie, sometimes I envy you
Jon: Hey, Garfield, we're going to visit aunt Gussie
Jon: I know she's old and mean, but underneath she has a heart of gold
Garfield: I hear she used to double-date with Lizzie Borden
Jon: Hi, aunt Gussie
Aunt Gussie: Well if it isn't my daydreaming nephew, Jon, and his cat Blubberbutt
Aunt Gussie: Look, rodent breath, if you come within ten feet of my canary, I'll make a doily out of your hide
Garfield: I like her
Jon: Why, aunt Gussie! I didn't know you were homecoming queen in 1922
Aunt Gussie: You get
Aunt Gussie: Back then I had beauty, style, grace, charm...
Aunt Gussie: And a body that wouldn't quit!
Jon: How are you getting along financially these days, aunt Gussie
Aunt Gussie: Oh, I have my social security, I make quilts and sell my African violets
Aunt Gussie: And I knock down three hun a week teaching slam dancing at Denny's Pogo Pit
Jon: What would you like for Christmas, aunt Gussie
Aunt Gussie: Oh... nothing much
Aunt Gussie: Maybe something for my bed like a little Lacey throw pillow
Aunt Gussie: Stuffed with John Travolta's chest hair
Jon: I was nice visiting with you, aunt Gussie
Aunt Gussie: Same here, Jon
Jon: And you'd better forget about your crush on John Travolta. He's young enough to be your grandson
Aunt Gussie: DON'T TELL THAT TO MY COMPUTER DATING SERVICE!
Jon: (click!)
Jon: Well, look who's in the television set
Jon: Garfield is such a clown
Jon: Ha-ha-ha
Jon: WAH HA HA!
Jon: Wait a minute!
Jon: Something just occurred to me
Garfield: Look at all those people. All going to work to process food, produce electricity, manufacture kitty litter and so on
Garfield: All just for me
Garfield: I'd thank them individually, but they know who they are
Garfield: I guess I shouldn't have clobbered Odie for not being a cat
Garfield: If everyone had a choice, we'd all be cats. So I can't blame him for no being a cat
Garfield: (punt!) This is for being a dog!
