Jon: As long as you're dieting, Garfield, why don't you exercise, too?
Garfield: Sure... why not?
Garfield: As long as the noose i around my neck I might as well jump off the horse
Jon: Sticking to your diet, Garfield
Garfield: Yup
Garfield: But i did eat the pictures out of your cookbook
Jon: You're looking slim there, Garfield
Garfield: Thanks
Garfield: I couldn't find a corset
Garfield: So I borrowed one of Jon's tube socks
Garfield: I can't possibly eat all this food. It's time for a... food fight!
Garfield: (SPLUT!)
Garfield: You stay out of this, Monday
Garfield: Hello, folks. How do you do? I'm Garfield, the cat. I'll entertain you.
Audience: (SPLAT!)
Garfield: You stay out of this, mom
Garfield: I just flew in from Pittsburgh and, boy, are my arm tired
Garfield: The guy on the hook must be asleep
Garfield: I gotta sing! I gotta dance!
Audience: (BOP! BAP! BIFF!)
Garfield: I gotta be crazy
Garfield: Goody, Jon's not around
Garfield: Jon stifles my lifestyle
Jon: Put the dog down!
Garfield: He's no fun
Garfield: (splut)
Garfield: (plik)
Garfield: (bat)
Garfield: (scratch)
Garfield: (drip)
Garfield: Bored, Garfield?
Garfield: Some days I get tired of being a cat
Jon: That wasn't very nice, Garfield
Garfield: Is this business, “nice” doesn't put bread on the table
Jon: Why is it I'm crazy about you, Garfield?
Garfield: Probably because I'm perfect
Jon: You claw the drapes, shed on the furniture, steal my food and hassle the dog
Garfield: Nobody's perfect
Jon: Garfield's in for a big surprise. I put an alarm on the refrigerator
Jon: That's the first rule for successfully living a cat
Jon: You must be smarter than the cat
