Jon: Garfield! You ate my raisin cookies!
Jon: I thought you didn't like raisins
Garfield: I don't
Garfield: Shoo! Shoo! Go away! I don't like you
Odie: (SLURP!)
Garfield: I hate blind devotion
Jon: How about a manly game of arm-wrestling, Garfield?
Garfield: You're on
Jon: Are you ready you furry sissy
Garfield: Read when you are, wimp
Jon: Unnngh
Garfield: Rrrr
Jon: What say we call it a draw, Garfield
Garfield: I'll let you off the hook this time
Jon: I'll see you, Garfield
Garfield: So long, Jon
Jon: Speak to me, arm!
Garfield: I'll never use this arm again as long as I live
Jon: Garfield, I know you're in my fern. I can see your tail
Jon: What do you have to say for yourself?
Garfield: I say we attack the fort at dawn
Garfield: There you have it...
Garfield: Odie's so stupid he doesn't even understand the law of gravity
Jon: What do you think of my Ming vase, Garfield?
Garfield: (CRASH!)
Garfield: Ming, shmung. They don't make'm like they used to
Jon: WHAT!... GUH!... I DON'T!... BUH!... YOU!... YOU!
Jon: YOU DUB, ANIMAL! YOU'RE SO STUPID, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID
Garfield: I know I destroyed a priceless Ming dynasty vase as an overt expression to communicate my contempt for the politically oppressive doctrines of the early 17th century administration
Garfield: I could sure use some of Jon's deodorant
Garfield: (ssst)
Jon: How's it going, Garfield?
Garfield: Fine, until I found the spray starch in your cabinet
Jon: Go fetch the paper, will you, Garfield?
Garfield: That's what I live for
Garfield: Here you are, Sahib
Jon: Hey! This paper is all chewed up!
Garfield: Sahib asks fish, paper is wet. Sahib asks cat, paper is holey
Jon: Ah... how sweet
Jon: Wait a minute! I'll bet you want something from me, don't you?
Garfield: How dare you suggest I trade my affection for selfish reasons! For a bite of that hamburger, I'll forget you said that
Jon: Garfield, I know you're in my fern. I can see your tail
Jon: What do you have to say for yourself?
Garfield: Arf?
