TV: We'll be right back after this word from our sponsor
TV: “Sasquatch”
TV: Welcome back
Jon: I just got comfortable, Garfield. Do you absolutely have to be let out?
Garfield: Oh, yes
Jon: Very well, then
Garfield: Sucker
Jon: Guess where we're going, Garfield?
Garfield: To a hayseed convention?
Jon: Yesiree, we're gonna see mom and dad on the farm. We're gonna slop the pigs and pluck the chickens. Boy howdy, we're gonna have us a time
Garfield: That is, if your father doesn't beat the heck out of you for doing that stupid stereotype
Jon: How have you been, mom?
Jon's mother: Never mind that
Jon's mother: Here, eat, eat, eat
Garfield: You're my kind of woman
Jon's father: Then, once, the potato is dug up, is is sliced, deep-fried, salted and bagged. Voilą, you have your potato chip
Garfield: I hate knowing where food comes from...
Garfield: All the magic is gone
Jon's father: Hurry up with that hay, son. Supper's waiting'
Jon's father: Son?
Garfield: Long time no farm. Huh, Jon?
Jon: We had fun visiting the farm, didn't we, Garfield?
Garfield: Speak for yourself, Jon
Jon: It's great getting back to basics, putting your hands in old Mother Earth
Garfield: But I'll never get these fingernails clean
Garfield: A real man of the land
Man 1: (SCREEE)
Man 2: (CRUNCH!)
Man 1: Yabba! Yabba! Yabba!
Man 2: (SOCK!)
Garfield: Human beings... why do they yell at each other? Why do they hurt each other?
Odie: Urf
Garfield: What do you know?
Odie: (woing!)
Garfield: Just what is a Monday?
Garfield: (plip)
Garfield: Monday is a day designed to add depression to an otherwise happy weak
Garfield: Just what is life? Life is a lot like a hot bath
Garfield: If feels good while you're in it
Garfield: But the longer you stay... The more wrinkled you get
Garfield: Just what is television?
Garfield: Television not only gives the eyeballs something to do.
Garfield: But is socially acceptable excuse to snack
Garfield: Just what is a goldfish?
Garfield: A goldfish is an aquatic expression of beauty and grace that provides its observers with many hours of blissful meditation
Garfield: Is also makes a darn fine breakfast
Garfield: Just what is a dog?
Garfield: Let me put it this way...
Garfield: If a dog were a faucet, it would leak
Garfield: Just what is a cat? A cat is a furry animal, complete with dog nibblers and furniture shredders
Garfield: Hack!
Garfield: The hairballs in the throat are also standard equipment
Garfield: (SPLAT)
Garfield: (SPLOOSH)
Garfield: Why is it cats chase butterflies? Is it instinct, or is it just stupidity?
Garfield: Probably stupidity
