Jon: Do you know what this country needs?
Garfield: More dog pounds
Garfield: Anti-dog mines around fire hydrants! Dog hunting season! Dog traps
Jon: Relax, Garfield. You're going to burst something
Garfield: Why, millions could be saved on carpet cleaning bills alone
Jon: Garfield. Lasagna!
Jon: I waxed the table today
Garfield: When my bones knit, you are a dead man
Garfield: I'm in the mood for a good fight. But I am personally opposed to senseless violence
Garfield: (PUNT!)
Garfield: That's for no being a cat
Jon: Hey look, Garfield. This is my impression of a bowling ball
Garfield: (SHOOP!)
Garfield: That was my impression of a vacuum cleaner
Garfield: I feel like getting into a big fight today
Garfield: Now I feel like holing up somewhere to whimper for a while
Jon: What do you want to do tonight, Garfield? DO you want to go jogging? Go to a movie? Play miniature golf
Jon: Or would you rather go eat?
Jon: Natch
Irma: Do you take your cat everywhere?
Jon: Yes, we do everything together, my dear
Garfield: Except make passes at ugly waitresses
Jon: Here it comes, folks
Jon: Tah-dah!
Jon: Lasagna anyone?
Liz: I'll pass
Lyman: Nope
Woman: I'm on a diet
Jon's mother: I think I'll wait for dessert
Jon's father: I just ate
Jon: Garfield, I've decided to take a vacation
Garfield: Great! When do we leave?
Jon: I don't think you understand. I said “I,” not “we”
Jon: I think you understand
Garfield: Say you're just kidding
Garfield: I can't believe Jon's not taking me on vacation
Garfield: Cats need vacations too
Garfield: All this eating and sleeping can wear a guy down
Jon: Aunt Gussie, would you take care of my cat while I'm gone on vacation? ...Terrific!
Jon: You know aunt Gussie, Garfield. She's a sweet old lady
Garfield: How can you say that about someone who used to double date with Lizzie Borden?
Jon: Garfield, meet aunt Gussie
Aunt Gussie: I'm tickled pink to meet you
Garfield: And you can color me unimpressed
Jon: While I'm gone take good care of Garfield
Jon: And keep a close eye on him. He gets into a log mischief
Jon: Have fun, Garfield
Aunt Gussie: Garfield?
Garfield: (pat, pat, pat)
Garfield: (poomp!)
Garfield: I would have had to eat him to save face
