Irma: Mornin', Jon. What'll you have
Jon: Ham 'n' eggs, eggs over easy
Irma: And what'll you have, sir?
Garfield: One of each will do nicely. Thank you
Jon: (dial, dial)
Jon: Hello, Ingrid? How about a date this weekend?
Jon: Okay... Then how about next weekend? How about the weekend after that?
Jon: Maybe the weekend after that? Or the weekend after that? The next one? How about the weekend after that?
Jon: Look, Ingrid, if you don't want to go out with me, why don't you just say so!
Jon: (SLAM!)
Jon: I guess I told her
Garfield: String 'em along then break their heatrs. Right, Jon?
Garfield: The moon is right
Garfield: The time is right
Garfield: Good evening, ladies and germs. A funny thing happened on the way here tonight...
Garfield: A canary walks up to me the other day and he says, “I haven't had a bite in three days.” SO you know what I did?
Garfield: I ate him
Garfield: (tappity, tappity, tappity) Yah dah dah dah dah dah
Garfield: O solo
Garfield: MEYOW
Garfield: I know you're out there. I can hear you breathing
Garfield: My next song is for all you lovely ladies out there
Garfield: Heck with it. That is for you ugly ones, too
Audience: (BAP! BOP! BAP!)
Garfield: AROOOO
Audience: (THOCK!)
Garfield: Ha ha! I was prepared this time
Audience: (KACHUNG!)
(BRINNG!)
Jon: Good morning, Garfield. Here's your yummy breakfast
Garfield: (SPLAT!) Yuk
Garfield: (rip! scratch, scratch)
Bird: Crip, chrip
Bird: Eeeeek!
Garfield: Just another day in the life of a typical cat
Garfield: Why were cats placed upon this Earth?
Garfield: Why, to give people pleasure
Garfield: And to give dogs a hard way to go
Odie: (SMACK!)
Garfield: There's nothing like a steaming cup of coffee and a newspaper to get the day started
Garfield: I'd enjoy it even more if I could read
Garfield: Once again I venture into the wilderness in search of quarry
Garfield: I spot my prey, but I must make a clean kill
Garfield: Hamburgers can be vicious if they're only wounded
