Garfield's history of dogs: The world's first dog crawled out of the sea about ten million years ago
But, unfortunately for him
He was immediately nabbed by the world's first dogcatcher
Garfield's history of dogs: Tail wagging was invented by a dog named “Bozno Wag”
He found tail wagging endeared him to humans
Bonzo also invented slobbering, but that didn't go over so well
Garfield's history of dogs: During the stone age, dogs were used for hunting much as they are today
Dog: (bark, bark)
Dog: (grrrr)
Times where tough then
Dinosaur: (STOMP!)
Garfield's history of dogs: Contrary to popular belief
The first dogs were happy to meet the first cat
For, until then, all they had to chase up trees were rocks
Dog 1: Arf
Garfield: Dogs' historic roles as hunters, protectors, trackers, laborers and companions have culminated to make modern dog what he is today
Garfield: It could just make you cry
Garfield: Do you feel personally responsible for the world food shortage?
Garfield: Every time you go to the beach, does the tide come in?
Garfield: Have you ever eaten an entire moose?
Garfield: Can you see your neck?
Garfield: Do joggers take laps around you for exercise?
Garfield: If so, welcome to National Fat Week!
Garfield: This week we'll eat without guilt, and kick off our membership campaign
Garfield: By force-feeding a box of cornstarch to a skinny person
Garfield: Welcome to National Fat Week.
Garfield: This is the week all of you, my fat brothers and sisters, celebrate your big, round, beautiful bodies
Garfield: Remember, you're not overweight, everyone else in undernourished
Garfield: This is National Fat Week. Arise, fat people!
Garfield: LET US AVERT OUT NATION'S INSENSITIVITY TOWARD FAT PEOPLE!
Garfield: LET US MAKE FUN OF BALD PEOPLE!
Garfield: Here's a National Fat Week handy fact...
Garfield: 60% of the people in our nation are involved in some way with the food industry
Garfield: That's right, eating is not only fun, it's patriotic!
Garfield: This year, let's celebrate National Fat Week by stamping out fat jokes
Garfield: Let's face it, fatties...
Garfield: We should be able to stamp out anything we wish
Garfield: We fat people are constantly being discriminated against
Garfield: Airplane and theater seats are too small. Designer clothing is not mad in out size. But that's trivial.
Garfield: What this world needs is a king-size sandbox
Garfield: Here's a National Fat Week diet joke:
Garfield: What would you get if you cross a dieter with a nine-foot gorilla?
Garfield: You get a gorilla who diets anywhere he pleases
Jon: OH, GARFIEEELD
Jon: Go fetch the paper
Garfield: You gotta be kidding
Jon: No paper, no breakfast
Garfield: That's blackmail
Jon: Good boy!
