Jon: Why can't you be like other cats, Garfield?
Jon: Let me explain the basic differences between humans and cats
Garfield: Well, make it snappy. I have a tennis lesson in half an hour
Garfield: (boing, boing, boing)
Garfield: (...ng, boing, boing)
Garfield: (BOING, BOING) Help!
Jon: For staying out of my food today, Garfield, I'm going to reward you with a kitty munchie
Jon: They're gone
Garfield: I already rewarded myself
Garfield's history of cats: the very first cat crawled out of the sea about ten million years ago
Fortunately for him...
It was only about another 15 minutes before the first mouse crawled out
Garfield's history of cats: The first cat was domesticated about a million years ago. The cat (named “Org”) was owned by a cave man named “Chuck”
While rumor has it that Org ate his owner...
Historians maintain the family dog ate chuck
Garfield's history of cats: During the dark ages the legendary ratter “Fluffy-the-fierce” destroyed every rat but one...
Mouse: (squeak!)
Ol' Fluffy got his clock cleaned by the even more legendary “Matt-the-rat”
Matt: (dribble, dribble, dribble)
Incidentally, it was Matt-the-rat who coined the term “here, kitty, kitty, kitty”
Garfield's history of cats: Marco Polo had a cat named Rolo
Rolo would have gone with Marco on his tip to the Orient
But motels wouldn't accept pets then
Rolo: (wah!)
Garfield's history of cats: A cat discovered America!
It was Christopher Columbus' cat “Buckeye” who first spotted the beach
Primarily because the Santa Maria didn't have a sandbox
Garfield's history of cats: Cats' penchant for sharpening their claws has served many historic purposes: in Victorian times cats were used to antique furniture
During the Spanish-American war, cats were used as interrogators
Jon: I'll talk! I'll talk!
And today, the post office uses cats to sort mail marked “fragile”
Garfield: Boy, it's hot!
Bird 1: (chirp)
Bird 2: (chirp)
Bird 3: (wheee!)
Garfield: (SHARKS!)
Garfield: Hmmm a doggie biscuit
Garfield: What a disappointment
Garfield: That doesn't taste at all like doggie
Jon: One thing I admire in cats is their natural grace
Garfield: (smack!)
Jon: And then there's Garfield
