Jon: Bachelorhood is okay, I guess
Jon: But you just can't beat...
Jon: Someone waiting for you when you get home
Odie: (scratch, scratch, scratch, scratch)
Garfield: Uh-oh. FLEAS!
Garfield: Alcohol should do the trick
Garfield: Much better
Jon: (puff, puff)
Garfield: (FOOMP)
Garfield: There's something to be said for flea collars
Jon: Garfield, you sleep too much, you eat too much, and you watch too much television
Garfield: What does Jon expect of me, anyway?
Garfield: I'm only human
Garfield: Television can be habit forming
Garfield: I've been watching it all day
Garfield: Would you like me to turn the TV on, Garfield?
Garfield: That would be nice
Jon: We've gotta stop watching the all-night movies on television, Garfield
Jon: But, of course, last night was an exception
Garfield: Who could possibly turn off the Ether Barrymore film festival?
(bang! bang!)
TV2: Eeek!
(smack!)
Jon: Okay, okay. I'll change the channel
Garfield: I don't like violence
Garfield: I hate television
Garfield: There are too many commercial, reruns and game shows
Garfield: The eight hours I watched yesterday was terrible
Garfield: Television is only so much mindless drivel...
Garfield: Glossy adventures, sex and violence
Garfield: Ain't it great?
Garfield: (YAWN!)
Garfield: (smack, smack, smack)
Garfield: Oh my
Garfield: Just look at that gorgeous sunrise!
Garfield: Mother nature certainly uses every color on her vast palette to paint a dawn. Truly blessed are we, the early risers
Jon: Have you ever seen a more beautiful sunset, Garfield?
Garfield: Hmmm... I must have overslept
Jon: Garfield, you are disgustingly, slovenly, sloppy fat
Garfield: Poor Jon
Garfield: He obviously has disgustingly, slovenly, sloppy fat confused with “big-boned”
Jon: Brenda, meet Garfield
Brenda: Hi, Garfield
Brenda: Is Garfield a pig?
Jon: He's a cat
Garfield: Oh, that really hurts
Garfield: Ahhh
Garfield: (crash!)
Garfield: Face it, Garfield. Windowsills just aren't built for us queen-sized felines
