Jon: Hi, there... I'm Jon Arbuckle. I'm a cartoonist, and this is my cat, Garfield
Garfield: Hi, there. I'm Garfield. I'm a cat, and this is my cartoonist, Jon.
Jon: Our only thought is to entertain you.
Garfield: Feed me.
Jon: Happy birthday, Garfield. I have a surprise for you
Jon: A rubber mousey!
Garfield: Could've used a little salt...
Jon: A MOUSE! GET IT!
Jon: Garfield! You didn't ever try!
Garfield: Show me a good mouser, and I'll show you a cat with bad breath.
Garfield: (slap!)
Jon: Don't be cruel, Garfield. Put the catburger out of its misery and eat it.
Garfield: Cats...
Garfield: We cats are intelligent, soft, cute...
Garfield: Furry cuddly...
Garfield: Playful...
Garfield: Demure...
Garfield: And masters of the house.
Garfield: We cats like to sit in high places. It reinforces our superiority.
Garfield: Help
Jon: Here, Garfield... Beg
Garfield: (swipe!)
Jon: EEYOUCH!!
Garfield: Groveling is not one of my strong suits.
Jon: You can't drink coffee, Garfield. You'll stunt your, uh, your...
Jon: One lump or two?
Garfield: All I ever do is eat and sleep, eat and sleep, eat and sleep.
Garfield: There must be more to a cat's life than that.
Garfield: But, I hope not.
